Welcome back to HardnoseRocks! This year's coaching matchmaker is very different from last year's, because I didn't come up with a corny name for it this time. I kept it short and to the point. Basically, I'm deciding which coaching candidate is the best fit for each HC vacancy. Enjoy!

This was a no-brainer. While it wouldn't be a shock to see them find a quarterback guru to work with Mitch Trubisky, I think it's wiser to stay within the organization. Fangio is an up-and-coming defensive mind who will not find it too hard to turn the Bears into winners.

The Cards are entering a period of change, as both their veteran quarterback and longtime coach have retired. I believe the best fit for a team in turmoil is a calm, consistent coach, and Caldwell is exactly that. I will be interested to see whether or not Larry Fitzgerald hangs in there another year. 

When your formula is working, it's best to promote someone in the organization. Detroit's offensive coordinator is one of the league's most promising young coaches and has been a head coaching candidate for a few years now. He'd give the Lions the energy they need without causing too much shakeup.

It's no secret that the biggest perk of the Colts' coaching job is the opportunity to work with Andrew Luck. The ideal candidate would be John DeFilippo, Eagles QB coach. He's one of the best quarterback whisperers in the league and should help Luck become an elite quarterback.

You have to wonder why this guy doesn't have a job already. He's been a top candidate for years and has faced a lot of adversity as the offensive line coach for the Seahawks. He's part of the legendary Pete Carroll coaching tree. I won't list all the coaches who have worked under Carroll, but it's a good number, including many coaches whom I think are fantastic. He'd be a great fit for the blocking-troubled Giants.

1: Matt Patricia
This guy will be incredible once someone gets the bright idea of picking him up. Belichick has taught him all he knows, but he's not a Belichick wannabe like Josh McDaniels.
2: Dan Campbell
Everyone forgets what a great job he did with the Dolphins after Joe Philbin was fired. He should've been given the opportunity to run the team, and Gase should have been promoted to HC in Denver.
3: Eric Studesville
I can't believe we let this man go. He's a unique talent and should have been the Broncos coach after Kubiak retired. As the Broncos running backs coach, he took guys that haven't been good anywhere else and made them look like superstars! But it's hard to imagine he'll get his chance this year.

​Well, there you have it. Peace out.

Welcome back to HardnoseRocks. You probably thought I died and/or got hired by the Browns. Well, the good news is, I'm alive and well, both in the physical sense and the football-related! Today, I'll be counting down the dumbest things coaches say. They get dumb, so count yourself prepared. 

5: "I'm giving 110 percent."
No, you're not. There is only 100 percent of you. To give "110 percent" would be to give something you don't actually have. While this might work for a hopelessly-in-debt dude who still buys extravagant presents for his girlfriend, it doesn't work in football. Say "going the extra mile" next time. Please.

4: "We're in rebuild mode."
 No, you're not. You're in sit-in-a-corner-and-cry mode, and you're going to stay there for quite some time. When a team decides it has to "rebuild," what it means is that it will undergo a long period of stockpiling high draft picks and sitting talented rookies in hopes that, over time, they'll magically transform into winners! That takes longer than necessary, and usually longer than that coach's tenure. Think the Browns. Think the Jets. Think terrible teams that haven't been not terrible since who knows when, just because somewhere along the way, they decided to "rebuild." 

You know what does work? Building the best team you can every year, possibly at the expense of next year. Signing aging players who will be super helpful for a couple years. Starting your rookies. Think John Elway and Bill Belichick.

3: "It'll take time."
See: 4.

2: "It was a good loss."
There are no good losses. Imagine, if you will, a football league where the record is expressed as Wins-Good Losses-Bad Losses. Some of you are cheering this idea on, while others are groaning in disgust. Either way, that's not what we have. If the last Wild Card spot in the NFC is between a team with 5 ugly losses and one with six "good" losses, we all know who gets the spot. If you lose, there are definitely things that must be fixed before next week, and after that, maybe there'll be time to focus on the good stuff that happened. Take losses like a man; don't revel in the glory of pseudo-victory.

1: "The best offense is a good defense."
The best offense is a good offense. The offense scores the points. Defenses rarely score points. And as my great-grandfather once said, "You can tie without scoring any points, but you can't win." A functioning offense is vital to a team's success. One might flip the proverb and say that the best defense is a good offense. After all, the bigger the lead, the easier it is to defend. If you have the lead, and the team scores, it's much more effective to score on your next drive than to mosey around in your own territory and then get a defensive stop. Look at the Broncos-Pats game. When we had the ball, we had no trouble scoring. But New England extended their lead, and ate up clock in the process, proving once again that the best defense is a good offense.

​Rant over. See you on the flip side.       

Vance Joseph is most definitely NOT having the time of his life. 

I'm not afraid to admit it, either: my team stinks. We are flirting with mathematical elimination right now. Geddy knows we've been emotionally eliminated, barring some insane sweep, which won't happen. After three easy wins and a close loss in the first quarter of the season, people were saying we were a top-ten, even top-five team. Now, we're in a different top ten...the first 10 picks of the next NFL draft.

What happened?

I'm going to go through everything that DIDN'T happen, just for the record. 

1: It wasn't the quarterback.
Siemian has been a completely viable option this year. His accuracy and mobility has been on point. However, bad decisions other coaches and teammates (we'll get to that in a second) made vital mistakes that ruined his great season, and possibly, his career. Osweiler was dismal against the Eagles,  but let's face it, so are most QBs, and he put on a solid performance against the Pats. He didn't make his famously dumb decisions, but kept his cool and consistently moved the chains. Except in the red zone.

2: It wasn't the injuries.
Granted, we lost a few key players for a couple games. But at that point, it was just pouring gasoline on a dumpster fire. We had all our key players present and accounted for during the games that threw our season against San Diego and New York. 

3: It wasn't Brock Olivo.
At the end of the day, you can't just run out onto the field and tackle the dude. Having seen Olivo, he'd probably get seriously hurt, not to mention costly penalties, fines, and firings. The special teams gaffes we've displayed have been all on the players.

4: IT WASN'T KARMA
This is an inside joke between me and my very favorite readers. Including one whose football philosophy is influenced by Eastern philosophy.

In the end, we can tack it down to Vance Joseph's inability to make decisions and our shabby offensive line.

Think about it. Why did we have a "quarterback competition" when Siemian had already effectively won the job last preseason, and why did it stretch until long after the Trev had clearly established himself? It hurt Siemian for sure. He was less prepared because he'd lost so many first-team reps to Paxton Lynch. How many players muff five punts in one season and still see the field-heck, and even carry the ball? Most coaches would have sat McKenzie weeks ago. Some would've cut him. But it took five muffs to get Joseph to pull him. And who, really, is our guard? I'd rather see Barbre and Garcia play rock-paper-scissors for the starting job than see a coach fiddle with the question for weeks.

Joseph clearly cannot make tough decisions. But we'll see soon enough if Elway can. Would he fire a terrible coach after only one year? Only time will tell.

Peace out. In Elway We (at least, I) Trust.  

I have big news for you all! You will all want to hear this, especially if you enjoy wasting your time.

Are you ready?

I'm planning on starting a podcast to discuss some big topics in football!

I'm calling it Ad Nauseam. If you read the logo at the top, you understand why. I'm eyeing Thursday, October 12 as a possible release date for episode 1. This may be optimistic, as I'll need a cohost and a desktop mic, but I have someone in mind for the former and my parents may own the latter already. Get ready for some ridiculously wrong predictions, high praise for my favorite under-the-radar players, and maybe, if we still have time, a little bit of very good insight!

See you soon! I'll hopefully write a new blog in the next week or so!

You will never be told to draft any of these guys i the first three rounds.

That said, you may be told to next year. Or the year after that. Because these players have the potential to rock the fantasy world. Keep in mind, the best fantasy players aren't usually the best players. They're usually the players with the best stats, which is usually caused by weak opponents, lots of help, a monopoly at their position in their team, and some skill as well. Today, I'm going off the deep end to find you some players that could win your league without costing you early-round picks. 

Oh, by the way, Off The Deep End is a Weird Al Yankovic album. (And you thought I couldn't get any nerdier.)

If you are a frequent reader of my blog, you probably have a few names in mind that you just know I'm going to bring up the way I do in all my posts. And if you've been looking at the pictures, you're probably fairly certain those names will be named. However, they fit all the requirements I mentioned to a T. 

Marcus Mariota, Tennessee Titans
This guy is not only a Hall-Of-Famer but the commander of a championship-caliber passing offense featuring Corey Davis and Eric Decker at receiver, Delanie Walker at tight end, DeMarco Murray at running back, and the second-best OL in the league (including the criminally underrated Taylor Lewan). All the help may hurt his MVP bid, but it will carry him to a first-round bye and your team will potentially dominate the league. Being a young player, he's an especially good choice for dynasty leagues.

Trevor Siemian, Denver Broncos
If there's one guy in the league who should rule the stat sheet, it's him. He has DT and Emmanuel Sanders, not to mention a loaded backup WR group. His team has a questionable run game which will cause them to lean more on the pass. He has the chance to work with quarterback-whisperer Bill Musgrave and OC Mike McCoy, who is famous for building offenses around practically any quarterback. What's more, he's not under pressure to make splashy plays; his defense can win games for him if he can just get a few touchdowns. He's in a great situation.

Other QB Tips
Draft a quarterback in round one. It goes against conventional wisdom, but a quarterback is the one guy on a team who doesn't share snaps. Unless you're Tom Savage, but it goes without saying that you shouldn't draft him at all, let alone in the first round. If you're in an auto-draft league, put Carr, Ryan and Rodgers at the top of your rankings. Quarterbacks get the most fantasy points every single year, yet the analysts keep waiting on QBs till Round 6. 

This one's hard because the analysts analyze fantasy running backs to pieces. 

Bilal Powell, New York Jets
​Powell broke into the realm of elitehood this year. When Matt Forte retires, he should become a bright spot on a lame offense. Most of the defenses in his division are as lame as his offense, so he should have no trouble finding holes. The only concern is his offensive line. However, I'd bet a donut he breaks into the top ten this year. (He was the 20th RB taken in the NFL.com mock.)

Eddie Lacy, Seattle Seahawks
Speaking of Weird Al, ever heard his "I'm Bad" parody that went, "I'm Fat?" Okay. Enough Weird Al. But in all seriousness, Lacy is back, much lighter and faster, with a great OL, an easy schedule, and no competition at running back. He took the league by storm back in the day and still has top five potential. I would probably take him in the first three rounds, but you won't need to. 

Ameer Abdullah, Detroit Lions
Why'd we all forget about this guy? He was supposed to be one of the Lions' best draft selections and made some awesome plays for them in the last couple seasons. But in the last couple years, the buzz has faded. I think Detroit's revamped offensive line will give him the extra boost he needs to realize his potential. The NFC North defenses are a cause for concern.

Danny Woodhead, Baltimore Ravens
Because come on. He's Danny Woodhead.  

Other RB Tips
Don't draft any Saints RBs in the early rounds. Just don't. I don't care how good they are; there's no way any of them have a big fantasy season when they're sharing snaps with the other two guys.

This is where it gets a little weird. Just warning you. 

Dontrelle Inman, Los Angeles Chargers
This guy can play. He is currently sitting behind Mike Williams and Keenan Allen on the depth chart, but if Allen's injury history is any indicator, he should soon become LA's number 2 receiver. I think he's a much more viable option than Williams, an unproven rookie whom I'm not exactly sold on yet. His hands are the best on the team and some of the surest in the league. Having to face the No Fly Zone is an issue, as is Marcus Peters. 

Cooper Kupp, St. Louis Rams
Stop looking at me like that! Actually, that joke has lost its effect, as most of you are now pretty much used to my screwball ideas. But still, this one is a little out of left field. Kupp is a fantastic player who should start for the Rams from Day One. The only other starting-level receiver is Tavon Austin, and he's already on the decline. This guy holds the FCS records for most yards, touchdowns, and receptions in the FCS. I hear he's already impressing a lot of people in training camp. Get him while you can, especially if you're in a dynasty league.

Stefon Diggs, Minnesota Vikings
I'm really big on this guy. I think he should become a top-five receiver this year on the level of Antonio Brown and Julio Jones. He's easily the best receiver on his team and should get most of the reps. The NFC North is a weak cornerback division, with the exception of the Vikings, making his job even easier. Things will get even better for him if Teddy Bridgewater ever gets back in the game. 

Other WR Tips
​In the world of wide receivers, first can become worst in a matter of weeks. Just look at AJ Green and Demaryius Thomas. It's better to take a calculated risk on a younger player than waste space on a player you THINK is consistent.

The tight end position is not one frequently considered a fantasy moneymaker. However, with smart investments and HNR advice, you can make it your secret weapon. A well-selected TE could mean the difference between 12-2 and 11-3. 

Jake Butt, Denver Broncos
This guy was the steal of the draft. He also benefits from a comparatively weak tight end room and an awesome offensive coordinator. (See Quarterbacks.) I've done a lot about him already, but for the record, I think he'll be a great option at tight end this year and for years to come. He is a rookie, so two-TE systems and dynasty leagues would be optimal, but he could get you wins in a normal league too. 

Julius Thomas, Miami Dolphins
The Dolphins are quickly becoming an up-and-coming offense. Orange Julius is a big part of that. Don't be surprised if he's a top-five tight end this year. In a weak division at the cornerback position (the strongest backfield is the Jets, in my opinion), he should have no problem with his comeback. 

Hunter Henry, Los Angeles Chargers
Henry was in the conversation for Offensive Rookie Of The Year not too long ago. Antonio Gates is on the way out, leaving Henry, a great pass-catching tight end that has given even the No Fly Zone headaches. He's a great option for a starting tight end, especially in dynasty leagues. 

Other TE Tips
Be wary of teams with two-TE systems. While incredibly effective in real life, they severely limit fantasy stock. (And yes, this means I wouldn't take Gronk, especially if he still had a legitimate backup.)

If you're playing for money, which I don't advise, be extremely careful. Choose more consistent players than these. If you're playing for bragging rights, use my advice. If you're playing with total strangers for free, what the heck? Draft Tom Savage if you want. There's no money or bragging rights involved. 

I'm going to take a chance and predict how this season will go. This will not be easy, nor will it be fun. It needs to be done, however, because I did it last year and the year before. And I can't just drop my best annual article, now can I? Okay, now I'm rambling. This is why Kevin Patra has a job for NFL.com and I'm still an independent with 40-something followers. He doesn't chase rabbits, he just proves how crazy he is the whole article through. And it seems I'm rambling again. So, on to my annual predictions. 

Playoff Teams

AFC
1: Oakland Raiders (13-3)
2: Tennessee Titans (12-4)
3: Cleveland Browns (10-6)
4: New England Patriots (9-7)
WC1: Denver Broncos (10-6)
WC2: Jacksonville Jaguars (10-6)

Commentary
The Raiders are the team to beat in the AFC when Derek Carr is healthy. I'm excited that they're relevant again; our rivalry's about to get AWESOME! The Titans will be Super Bowl contenders as well, especially considering that Mariota now has a much better supporting cast thanks to an underrated draft class. The Browns may be a losing team this year, but Hue Jackson has a winning attitude and that's a huge deal. Isaiah Crowell will take the league by storm, and don't sleep on Myles Garrett and Jabrill Peppers to do some awesome stuff. (And honestly, is there really a better team in that sorry division?) The Broncos will have to build trust in their coach and quarterback, but their talent is just way too good. They'll have no problem making the playoffs. As for the Jags...it's finally time. It's not just offseason hype when Tom Coughlin has the reins.

NFC
1: Atlanta Falcons (15-1)
2: San Francisco 49ers (12-4)
3: Philadelphia Eagles (12-4)
4: Detroit Lions (11-5)
WC1: Dallas Cowboys (12-4)
WC2: St. Louis Rams (10-6)

Commentary
The 49ers will be totally awesome this year. This has everything to do with John Lynch, who has become my second-favorite general manager. Look for Dekoda Watson to have a big year. The Falcons will improve on last year's brilliance, and I think Wentz and Stafford will break into the realm of elitehood at long last, leading their teams to the playoffs. I almost put the Vikes in the playoffs, but so much of that hinges on whether Bridgewater is ready to play again. Dak will have a good, not great, year that should not be classified as a "sophomore slump" but rather the next episode in the Wentz-Prescott rivalry. The 'Boys are still much too good not to make the playoffs. Gurley and the St. Louis, ahem, "Los Angeles" defense are hard to ignore. Even if Jared Goff is underwhelming, they should be good enough to edge the Giants and slip in to the playoffs.

Super Bowl
Broncos over Falcons, 24-21

Commentary
What a game this will be! The Broncos defense will go up against the Falcons offense, but in the end, Mike McCoy's schemes will give Denver the edge. It will be a tough road, and I really could have put any of the other AFC playoff teams here, but none of the others would have beat the Falcons. And it's about time an AFC team not named the Patriots wins the Super Bowl. As the great Steve Perry put it...
Journey - Don't Stop Believin' (Audio) - YouTube

Awards

MVP: Derek Carr
Offensive Player Of The Year: Todd Gurley
Defensive Player Of The Year: Von Miller
Offensive Rookie: Jake Butt
Defensive Rookie: Jabrill Peppers
Comeback Player: Adrian Peterson (again)
Offensive Breakout Player: Nelson Agholor
Defensive Breakout Player: Dekoda Watson
Coach Of The Year: Hue Jackson
Best Hair: Rob Ryan
Worst Hair: Mark Davis

Commentary
I've already gone over most of this. I'll just add: if you dispute any of my claims, Google Mark Davis. You'll at least agree with me on that, if nothing else.

Top Three Draft Picks

1: Los Angeles Chargers - Lamar Jackson, Louisville
2: Baltimore Ravens - Sam Darnold, USC
3: Indianapolis Colts - Derwin James, Florida State

Commentary
I'm not big on Sam Darnold, but he has the tangibles, if not the intangibles, that teams reach for. Lamar Jackson will be the only person besides Archie Griffin with two Heismans-a feat deserving of no draft slot but number one, especially if we assume that pick belongs to the quarterback-needy Chargers. Derwin James is considered by many the best player overall in the nation, and if the Colts want to have a fighting chance against Allen Robinson and DeAndre Hopkins, not to mention their passers, they'll need a player like him.

Thanks for reading and liking. Have a good day, and whether I was right or wrong, enjoy your season! 

I'm starting to make my predictions for the year. But whenever you make predictions, you have to do a fair amount of total speculation. So, here's what I had to completely speculate about this year. 

Crapshoot Numero Uno: Who is this year's surprise team?
Why I have no idea: The big-name analysts have analyzed this one so much. Way too much, if you ask me. During March, the NCAA surprise team was South Carolina. All month, it was South Carolina this, South Carolina that, blaherty blah blah. Like the Patriots, except I don't care about the sport. The problem with picking an NFL surprise team is that there are so many teams that I think will surprise this year. The Titans are going to be legitimate Super Bowl contenders, the Broncos and Jags will make the playoffs, San Francisco and the Rams both have young talent, new coaches, and a lame division...but who will be that team?
If I had to guess...the Titans. They would be the biggest surprise because nobody thinks they'll be a surprise. Mariota is hard to ignore.

Crapshoot Numero Dos: Who is Cleveland's quarterback?
Why I have no idea: Call me crazy, but I think Cleveland wins the division this year. The biggest problem is whether or not they have a legitimate starter. Cody Kessler showed plenty of promise last season, while Brock Osweiler has showed too much promise in the past to say he's a terrible quarterback based on last year. DeShone Kizer is an interesting development who may make a surprise push for the starting job.
If I had to guess...Osweiler. Four years playing under Peyton Manning is a hard credential to ignore.

Crapshoot Numero Tres: Who wins the NFC East?
Why I have no idea: This is easily the most competitive division in football, except for maybe the AFC West. The Cowboys have Dak, the Eagles have Wentz, and the Giants have one of the best offenses in football. That leaves the Redskins, but they warrant consideration as well. So...yeah.
If I had to guess...the Eagles. Wentz is ready for a huge season. 

Crapshoot Numero Cuatro: Who wins the Rookie Of The Year awards?
Why I have no idea: I'm not going to waste time saying who it could be. There are way too many names to look over. I'll let you look at the draft yourself and decide who it could be. I just have no idea.
If I had to guess...Okay. Bear with me for a sec. Let's imagine that Cleveland and Chicago both win their divisions and play each other in the Super Bowl. If that happens, the first two picks of the draft, Myles Garrett and Mitch Trubisky, are locks for DROY and OROY. I don't know. Crazier things have happened.  

With my luck, these will all be wrong. But thanks for liking, sharing, and commenting. Your clicks are appreciated.

I can't analyze the whole draft. It makes sense; there are 253 picks in the whole draft. I can't discuss every single cotton-picking one. Only Mike Mayock has time for that. It's like it's his job or something. Instead, I'm analyzing the Broncos' draft haul, pick by pick. 

The poor grades should be taken with a grain of salt. John Elway has never, not once, made a colossal mistake. That being said, some are less right than others. And now...I shall begin.

OT Garret Bolles, Utah
Grade: C+
The Skinny: Bolles made news not only by bringing his baby son onstage, but by being a Michael Oher-type story. However, his frequent penalties/miscues as well as his checkered past makes this one highly questionable. The fact that Ryan Ramczyk and Reuben Foster were available makes it even worse. However, I do think he'll add a little fire to the O-line. And we developed Bradley Roby and Shane Ray, two first-rounders with big off-field problems, into model citizens.
Instant Impact: This guy is highly developmental. I wouldn't be surprised if he sits behind Ty Sambrailo for a while.

DE Demarcus Walker, Florida State
Grade: A 
The Skinny: This guy is a sack monster. In fact, he was second in the nation in the sack category this year. He's a good fit for our defense and will, paired with Von Miller, Shaquil Barrett, and Shane Ray, become a nightmare for Tom Brady.
Instant Impact: He won't be first-string, but judging by the Broncos' defensive tactic of keeping players fresh, you'll see plenty of action from him this year.

WR Carlos Henderson, Louisiana Tech
Grade: B+
The Skinny: Henderson has a big achievement to his name; he led the nation in touchdown receptions this year. He's an explosive player who is great at gaining yardage after the catch, a rarity in the league today. Also a kick returner who can take it to the house. A steal as far as I'm concerned.
Instant Impact: While Jordan Taylor is a capable number 3 receiver, he's more of an alternate number 2 for when DT gets tired. Henderson will start immediately in the slot.

CB Brendan Langley, Lamar
Grade: B
The Skinny: Here is another all-purpose defensive back in the style of Will Parks and Justin Simmons. He's also a fantastic punt returner. He is still very raw, but considering that both is head coach and DC are ex-secondary coaches, that shouldn't be a problem. 
Instant Impact: He won't start, but expect him to be in on special teams and even the odd defensive play this year.

TE Jake Butt, Michigan
Grade: A+
The Skinny: Here it is! The steal of the draft! He's a fantastic pass-catching tight end (something we've lacked for a while now) and is already good to go. His routes are much smoother than anyone in our tight end room and he fits our system well. Charmin's even trying to sign him as a spokesperson. The day will come when people will say that he should've been the first tight end off the board.
Instant Impact: He should become our starting tight end, at least in terms of pass-catching, from Day One.

WR Isaiah McKenzie, Georgia
Grade: B
The Skinny: McKenzie is a small receiver best suited as a returner. His numbers at Georgia were spectacular; he scored every seventh time he touched the ball. Besides that, his only real strong suit is the trick play. Mike McCoy might have some fun here.
Instant Impact: He will definitely get his share of returning reps. I don't think he'll be utilized immediately in the slot, but I hope he challenges our play callers to do crazy things. 

RB De'Angelo Henderson, Coastal Carolina
Grade: A-
The Skinny: Most of the guys on this list have high production, but this guy holds records. He owns the Division 1 record for most consecutive games with a touchdown. That's right. Division. One. Record. Don't get TOO impressed; after all, Coastal Carolina isn't known for having tough opponents, but he is nevertheless the powerful, between-the-tackes runner whom we sorely lack.
Instant Impact: In a day when the "bell cow" running back has come and gone, Henderson 2 should work his way up to sharing reps with C.J. Anderson.

QB Chad Kelly, Mississippi
Grade: C-
The Skinny: This was a terrible idea! He has had major character issues for years now (he was kicked of Clemson for "detrimental conduct"). I believe character is the most important trait in any player. Especially quarterbacks. Not only that, but he's nursing a torn MCL and shattered wrist. Insiders say he won't throw a pass for two months. Two-cotton-picking-months. Even if we did draft a passer, it should have been Alek Torgersen. And even if we needed a number 3 QB-which we don't-it should be an experienced player to mentor our two young guys. Not some delinquent.
Instant Impact: Mr. Irrelevant won't make the 53-man roster. And if he doesn't make the practice squad either, he should look for a team like the Chargers that will soon need a QB of the future, but will let him sit for a while and learn.

Peace out for now. In Elway we trust.

Tony Romo won't get into the Hall Of Fame anytime soon.

That said, I'd like to explain why I think he should. After all, Randy Gradishar may never get into the Hall, but there's no doubt that he was the best linebacker of the 70s. 

Here's the first thing I'd like to bring up: the stats. Tony Romo is the Cowboys' all-time leader in passing yards with a whopping 34,183 yards in the air. That's almost 2.000 more than the next player on the list. Who is that player, you ask? Troy Aikman. He's closely followed by Roger Staubach, Danny White, and Don Meredith. These are some of the best ever to play the game, two of which are already enshrined in Canton. Yet the constantly maligned Romo surpasses them all in passing yards. He's also the franchise leader in passing touchdowns with 248. Aikman hit the end zone only 165 times.

Here's the smoking gun: he's 4th all time in passer rating. Not just with the 'Boys, with EVERYBODY. Only Aaron Rodgers, Russell Wilson, and Tom Brady are ahead, all of whom, it's safe to say, will one day don the golden jacket. Want to know who's behind Romo? Steve Young, Peyton Manning, and Drew Brees are next, followed by every passer who's ever played the game. Tony Romo is number 4. 

People will complain that he never went to the Super Bowl. But it is never your fault if your team sucks. Most years, Dallas had a lackluster roster that often included such toxic characters as Greg Hardy and Terrell Owens. Usually, the Cowboys were over as soon as Tony Romo was out. He still managed to drag this team to the playoffs four times.

So yes, if it were up to me, Romo would absolutely be in the Hall Of Fame. 

The Starbucks on 9th and Washington, San Francisco, CA, has signed Colin Kaepernick to a 1-year, $20,000 deal. 

General manager Joe Smith said in a press release that "his speed is really good. He has great timing and accuracy. Here, we want to make sure that we get our orders spot-on and don't keep our patrons waiting, and that's exactly what Colin brings to the table."

He added, "It's always been important to us that we have a racially and culturally diverse team. Kaepernick will help us do that, as well as get Mrs. Wilson's overly complicated lattes right, which has always been a challenge here." 

The owner, Bill Johnson, also put in his two cents: "Kaepernick will give us the depth we need at the barista position. While it's true that he's a little on the conservative side politically, he knows how to make a big kerfuffle when he's not happy, and that's exactly the kind of social change this country needs." 

"I am honored to be joining this team," remarked Kaepernick. "I believe we have the opportunity now to be champions, especially for Dave, who gets out of work at eleven and needs that extra boost to get home without crashing."

Just to clarify: It's April Fool's Day. Kaepernick is still out of work.

​At least, I think he is.